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  • Hindsight is 20/20.

    In this blog, I will address some issues that I experienced as a young man and will provide scriptural references that allowed me to recognize the goodness of God and what it means to me in the physical world. Once I recognized that God is still good, and that He can keep in in all aspects of life, it was then that my life changed for the better. I only wish that I had developed a firmer foundation of this truth earlier in life so that I could have enjoyed His presence much sooner, as it was He that I was looking for all that time. 

                Looking back, I realized that I have always wanted and sought out something. I did not understand that what I really sought was to know God. When I was feeling perplexed, I was uncertain about how or even why I felt such tension. The emptiness that I felt was reminiscent of, “Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity”. (Eccl. 1:2, English Standard Version) No matter what I did, I always felt a longing for something more. 

                This is a precarious situation for a preteen to find himself in, and it led to many bad decisions. What makes this tension so troubling? Why does a longing for more impact the life of mankind? Is it possible that purpose is the innate driving force of life as we know it? It is here that I would like to linger and start pointing to answers that will give the abundance of life that Christ has promised us. 

                Growing up, the predominant thought was to enjoy life, take part in the destruction of yourself, because you only live once. What if this is all a lie? In fact, this is one of the most insidious lies that the enemy wishes to perpetrate. To presuppose that life is without meaning allows mankind to define what makes a good life. Again, this is a subtle tactic that makes you the master of your own destiny. This attitude is what led me to a Carpe Diem approach to life, and the destruction of what we were purposed in this life. It is here that mankind has sought to fill in the gaps and to provide perceived meaning to the emptiness that we feel. 

                God is the only one who can satiate this longing. “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him”? (Psa. 8:3-4, ESV) The knowledge of God correctly defines this premise and allows us a glimpse into the purpose of mankind. We were not created without meaning or purpose, but we were created to enjoy an intimate relationship with our creator. It is only here that the vacant cavern that we call a soul can find rest, as it finds its purpose in knowing God.[1]

                As the purpose is clearly defined, it aligns our will and places us in a position to correctly apply meaning to life. This sets us in motion and supplies the fulfillment that we long for in our existence, and as we come to rest in the sufficiency of Christ, we come into an understanding of who we are and who we belong to. Indeed, this sentiment explains it all: “We’re all becoming a person, and as Willard would say it, the most important thing in life is the person you become”.[2] Being a Christian provides meaning and clearly satisfies the most important question one can ask: to whom do we belong, and what satisfies that longing? Jesus Christ is the only answer to both of these questions. 

    [1] Rolheiser, Ronald. The Fire within: Desire, Sexuality, Longing, and God. 1st ed. ORLEANS: Paraclete Press, Incorporated, 2021.

    [2] Willard, Dallas. Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ. 20th ed. Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2021p viii.

  • What is missing?

    The essence of who we are ruminate from the spirit or soul. This leads us be the master of our own destiny. What I desire is the ultimate decider of what is good for me, and this is a fallacy. Purpose cannot exist in a vacuum, but it must meet the expectations of the Creator, so why do we feel a need to live out our purpose in this world? Probably because our existence is not an accident. If this was the case, everything would be lawful for us, and there would not be a sense of morality in mankind. Indeed, what we do in this life does matter, and that speaks volumes to the created order. Nothing is random, nor is anything purposeless.

    Have you ever felt that something is missing? I thought that I was able to lead a good life on my own, boy, was I wrong. Before I knew what happened, I was staring at another turning point, and I thought, “I can’t do this on my own, I need Jesus”. In that moment, I realized that there was truth to the gospel message and that my future could be trusted in the hands of Jesus Christ. Ask yourself, am I without sin? Can I stand before a perfect God and be acceptable in His sight? Accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior changes everything. Try Him and find this out for yourself.

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  • Why Do I Feel So Empty?

    Why Do I Feel So Empty?

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    As a preteen, there was seemingly one event that shaped my entire life. Although I was raised in a Christian home, that belief system was rocked by tragedy. I never knew a day without the effects of an impending death sentence looming over my father’s head, but at the age of ten, the miraculous happened, and hope arrived. 

    After my father received a kidney transplant, I thought everything would be great. I would finally get to do all the things that I wanted to do with him without the effects of dialysis. He would have the energy to engage in his ministry the way he desired to, and we would be able to live without the effects of a life-altering medical regimen. 

    Abruptly, as quickly as hope arrived, so did despair, without a warning, and fanfare it arrived. Only eighteen months ago, the outlook for our lives was so different. We were confident that God was good, as he provided the requisite transplant that my father needed to thrive. No longer did we have to worry about dialysis; we could play without the physical toil of the machine. Life was not tethered to the presupposition that God may not answer the prayer, because it was clear that He did. I felt assured that God was good, and I remember walking up that aisle in a church in Waco, Texas, and giving my life to Christ. 

    How quickly I reneged, and took control of my life when I felt uncertain about the goodness of God when he died. After a bout for his life, my father succumbed to the inevitable; he lost the battle, and I lost my faith. Questions of why he would die so young were a fixation in my life. The carefree child started to look for other things to fill the void that was only meant to be filled by God, and this is where the problems began. 

    At eleven years old, I can remember feeling that life is short and I must do the things that I want to do while there is time. Because I was not anchored in the richness of the word of God, I was unable to withstand the trials that were surely to come, and I was without a foundation to lean upon. It was here that my perception of God changed, despite knowing that He is good and that He could be trusted with my problems. Therefore, an attitude of seizing the day would ruminate without my worldview.

    The desire to fit in and to be like the other kids was effectively my god; my desire became the compass of my life, and whatever I chose felt beneficial to me was what I pursued. It was here that I felt the most lost, and I was blinded by the cares of this world. 

    Thankfully, God still called out to me while I stumbled in the darkness. You see, God was not finished with me; in fact, He was beginning. The sense of emptiness that I felt was definitely impacted by hurt and pain, but that was not God’s fault. This came as a result of the effects of sin in our world. I bought the narrative that God allowed these things to happen, so it must be His fault, but that is a trick of the enemy. You see, the enemy allowed me to fill in the void that I felt with things that would pull me further from God, and coming to the end of myself allowed me to see the futility in this approach. No matter what I did, I could not answer this question: “Why do I feel so empty”? That question can only be answered by the Creator of all things, God.

    In this blog, I will address some issues that I experienced as a young man and will provide scriptural references that allowed me to recognize the goodness of God and what it means to me in the physical world. Once I recognized that God is still good, and that He can keep in in all aspects of life, it was then that my life changed for the better. I only wish that I had developed a firm foundation of this truth earlier in life so that I could have enjoyed His presence much sooner, as it was He that I was looking for all that time.